At a glance…
- Tegan Higginbotham is an award-winning comedian, writer and actress. Paul Verhoeven is a best-selling author, TV host and writer.
- The couple have blended marriage with their professional lives as co-writers on the new Stan Original series, Gnomes.
- Tegan and Paul join host Tiffany Dunk on new episode of The Australian Women’s Weekly Loves Stories, where they opened up about how they stay connected while working in a turbulent industry.
Loved-up comedian couple Tegan Higginbotham and Paul Verhoeven have been making each other, and Australia, laugh for over 13 years. Despite the challenges of working in a relationship-testing industry, and with a new dynamic as co-writers, their love has never wavered.
They joined host Tiffany Dunk on new episode of The Australian Women’s Weekly Love Stories podcast to share their secret to staying as head-over-heels for each other as they were on their first date.
Listen to the episode:
When Tegan and Paul first crossed paths on the set of a small improv theatre show, they barely spoke a word to each other. They were merely co-workers and distant acquaintances.
“For years, I kept thinking, who’s that girl?” Paul recalls, while it took Tegan much longer to notice him. “Our paths crossed many times. At one point we even shared a change room during a comedy festival, and I had no idea,” Tegan tells Tiffany.
When the pair finally did catch each other’s attention, both fresh out of long-term relationships, they thought it might simply be a one-night stand. “I thought, I’m gonna be that girl, I’m just gonna use him and lose him,” Tegan laughs.
Tegan, who was a sports writer at The Age, had been invited to the premier of Lingerie Football League, one of the only ways many women could play professional football at the time. “I had just met this guy, and there was clearly a lot of frisson there, so I asked him to come along with me,” Tegan recalls.
It happened to be the same day that Nelson Mandela passed away, which led to a memorable first date: experiencing a minute of silence amongst women lined up in lingerie. “A contrast between two flavours that don’t go together,” Paul tells Tiffany. Later that night, they shared a romantic first kiss outside a drag bar.
But it was clear that neither of them were built for anything casual. Paul couldn’t resist calling her first thing the next morning. “And he’s been by my side every second since,” Tegan shares.
The pair immediately became inseparable – sharing the same sense of humour, travel habits, and a passion for food were among many pieces of the puzzle that made them fit so effortlessly together. “We have spent our entire relationship just trying to make each other laugh,” Paul shares.
“You’re expecting a moment where a lightbulb goes off, but it wasn’t like that for us. It was just an immediate knowing, a kind of deeper comfort. It’s so unflashy that you can almost miss it. It’s not a treble note, it’s a base note of realisation,” Tegan confesses.
During a white Christmas spent in Notting Hill with both of their families, amongst distractions of frantic tourists and cornish pasties in the British countryside, Paul proposed on a balcony off Pultaney Bridge, a beautiful river scene as the backdrop.
Paul jokes that proposing to Tegan after five years of dating was slow in comparison to the rest of the Verhoevens, as both his father and his brother popped the question after just two weeks. “I was way past my ceiling,” Paul laughs. “But love is a marathon, not a sprint.”
They shared a small, intimate wedding in Paris, allowing the pair to slow down, enjoy the moment and connect on a deep and personal level with their nearest and dearest. “It felt like something shifted, it felt like something bigger than me had become part of my life,” Tegan recalls.
The pair still have to pinch themselves every day about how wonderful married life is. “The love I had then is so small compared to the love I have now. At every stage it has been completely encompassing,” Tegan expresses.
Working in the arts has added an additional layer to their relationship, as they experience the dramatic shift from constant, all-consuming work to periods of none at all. “It can be like a seesaw. The industry works in cycles, so you have to go through slow patches and reinvent yourself,” Tegan admits.
Paul likens it to being in a band: “Sometimes you’re the lead vocalist and sometimes you’re the roadie. It’s all going towards the same performance, you just need to learn that sometimes the roles are going to switch around.”
But the turbulence has not rocked them. “We are still compassionate and loving towards each other regardless of what’s happening in the entertainment space,” Tegan shares.
The pair’s bond was tested even further when they recently became co-writers on new Stan Original series, Gnomes. “When you’re working in creative spaces and pulling together a project, it’s like one big open wound and you’re so vulnerable,” Tegan confesses.
Instead of fitting into each other’s work patterns, they’ve been forced to figure out how to harness each other’s work habits. “Even if you’re aligned as a creative team, you will each have individual strengths. Figure out what those are as early as possible and work to them. That’s when you really see the machine picking up steam,” Tegan shares.
And at the end of the day, they are both grateful to have found someone to “nut out life’s tricky moments with”.
Listen to Tegan Higginbotham and Paul Verhoeven’s full conversation on The Australian Women’s Weekly Love Stories podcast.
Watch the episode:
Listen to The Australian Women’s Weekly Love Stories podcast wherever you get your podcasts. Watch full episodes on YouTube now.
The new original series Gnomes premieres October 8, only on Stan.
