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Kathy Lette’s Ship Has Sailed – And She Couldn’t Be Happier

Author Kathy Lette took the ultimate girls trip - and shared her rundown exclusively with The Weekly.

My top travel tip? When your ship comes in – don’t be at the airport.

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The best way to see Europe is by boat. Rivers were previously the continent’s superhighways, with every major city accessible by boat. An aquatic adventure does away with all hassles. No emphysemic hire cars; no botched hotel bookings; no endless packing and unpacking – and that’s just your emotional baggage from all those fights from trying to navigate in a foreign language. 

Keen to catch up with Aussie girlfriends, we decided to meet in Lisbon before cruising the Douro River. After two days exploring Lisbon’s treasures; the imposing Jorge castle, the maritime museum which celebrates the Golden Age of discovery when Portuguese caravels set sail in search of new worlds, the magnificent cathedral, vibrant bohemian district and the baroque mosaic masterpiece of Sao Roque Church, we were talking in exclamation marks. “Wow!! Wow!! Could this iconic city be any more beautiful!!?”

Ship to shore – Kathy enjoying the sights of Portugal on a shore excursion. Supplied.

We were then chauffeured to picturesque Porto to board our ship. Porto’s multi-coloured houses cluster like cheerful barnacles up steep riverbanks to a medieval city summit bristling with church spires. 

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To be honest, I did have some reservations about our reservation. I mean, Portugal is the sardine capital of the world. Would this weeklong cruise be like floating along in a cramped tin can, packed as tightly as said sardines? 

Our sleek Viking boat was moored beneath the magnificent arched, double tiered bridge, which spans the wide stretch of water, like a horizontal Eiffel tower. I boarded with trepidation but was delightedly relieved to be ushered into a spacious cabin with a wide, sunny balcony, perfect for lazy hours watching the stunning scenery roll gently by. 

Our journey took us upstream through the UNESCO world heritage listed wine region, where lush vineyards cascade down undulating hills to the river’s sleepy banks.

Aussies have a sense of humour drier than an AA clinic, but it’s the only dry thing about us. We do love a tipple and in Portugal, it’s always wine-o’clock. Wine has been produced in the area for more than 2,000 years.

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Ladies who ‘launch’ – Kathy and her cruising pals sampling the local wine varietals Portugal is famous for. Supplied.

We soon learnt to distinguish the dried fruit, hazelnut, almonds, caramel notes from the cherry, blueberry, raspberry and blackberry varieties. We eagerly drank our homework too, learning to differentiate the marmalade, spicey, smoky ports from the coffee, toffee, and tawny ranges. 

“Do you have any questions or curiosities?” one vintner asked. 

Well, yes. 1) Why do men like their wine old and their women young? And 2) As filtration stops the wine’s ageing capacity, why we can’t we put that in a face cream?

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Every day there were also visits to castles, palaces, cathedrals, monasteries, medieval fortresses and even a family run, artesian fish factory where we swapped wine for sardine tastings (cue canned laughter.)

A giant meringue needs gal pals around to share, Coimbra, Portugal. Supplied.

There was also of course, much feasting on succulent grilled prawns, fleshy mussels, cod cooked in smoked paprika, and exotic Iberian pork dishes followed by Portuguese tarts and local, signature pastries.

But the gourmandising proved guilt-free because at night, my girlfriends and I just danced off all those calories at the onboard bar. I call it the Disco Diet.  

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We’ve come home, bags merrily clanking and rattling with port, grappa and muscatels. I only wish I could bottle this brilliant experience.

Kathy Lette’s latest novel “The Revenge Club” is published by Bloomsbury. 
Hero image: Kathy Lette onboard the Viking Helgrim. All images courtesy of Kathy Lette.

Experience the renaissance of Lisbon, newly invigorated with trending galleries and restaurants with Viking on the ‘Portugal’s River of Gold’ itinerary.

Explore two of Iberia’s oldest university towns: Coimbra, Portugal and Salamanca, Spain. Roam the port warehouses of Porto. Enjoy traditional cuisine, wine and fado singing. Cruise the Douro River Valley, the world’s oldest demarcated wine region and a UNESCO Site.

The 10-day cruise tour includes a hotel stay in Lisbon and the added bonus of a visit to Spain.

Learn more.

Enjoy the Douro’s beauty and history with Viking.

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