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Have you ever heard of “Divorce Month”? Divorce is not a fun subject, and not really someone one would expect to show up in New Year’s resolutions. However, it appears January is the most popular month for couples to separate. Earning it the moniker: “Divorce Month”.
The festive season is often seen as a time for joy, family gatherings, and celebration. But for many couples, it can also be a time of stress which could lead to the final straw in their relationship.
So why do so many people choose to end their marriages right after Christmas? What is it about the holidays or financial pressures that bring couples to a breaking point come January? Let’s dive in…
January as “Divorce Month” is a bit of a misnomer
So, technically, it’s not the month when people get divorced, it’s the month when divorce filings appear to rise. It takes time for divorce to be granted. According to the latest report from the Australian Bureau of Statistics (ABS), there is a spike in divorces in March and November.
Finalising divorce can be a long process from your initial decision to finding the right lawyer, to sorting through your finances, parenting plans and whatever else.
However, local lawyers do report a noticeable spike in inquiries and filings in January. Cassandra Kalpaxis, a multi-award-winning family and divorce lawyer, notes, “Most people in that position have endured arguments over money, care of children, and relatives. It can be a pressure cooker for fragmented or vulnerable relationships.”
Christmas pressure and high expectations
The holidays are supposed to be magical, but the reality often involves financial strain, long to-do lists, and the pressure to create a perfect family experience.
For couples already experiencing tension, this period can magnify underlying issues. Arguments over money, extended family dynamics, and differing priorities can push a strained relationship to its breaking point.
For some, the holidays confirm what they’ve suspected for a while: that their relationship is no longer working. This realisation often leads to the decision to file for divorce in the New Year.
Cassandra explains, “Financial pressures, fatigue, and the sheer logistics of family gatherings can create stress. Combined with pre-existing issues, these factors can lead to separation in January.”
The concentrated togetherness — combined with the absence of work or other distractions — can bring simmering issues to the surface. For some, the holidays confirm what they’ve suspected for a while: that their relationship is no longer working. This realisation often leads to the decision to file for divorce in the New Year.
A fresh start for the new year
After Christmas, often we take stock of the previous year and plan our resolutions for the new year. For some, those resolutions are related to their relationship with their partner.
If someone has been unhappy for a while, it’s not surprising that they would see this as a fresh start for the new year.
“Early January is a time for self-reflection and goal setting,” says Cassandra. “People evaluate their lives and decide whether their relationships align with their future aspirations. January often feels like a more ‘acceptable’ time to take the plunge.”
For many, the new year symbolises new beginnings, and for some, that includes re-evaluating their personal lives. People often make resolutions to improve their happiness, health, or overall well-being. Sometimes this means hitting a daily step count, drinking more water, or hitting financial goals. And sometimes it can be the realisation that staying in an unhappy marriage is no longer sustainable.
January becomes the perfect time to make a clean break and start afresh, aligning personal changes with the calendar year.
If someone has been unhappy for a while, it’s not surprising that they would see January as an opportunity for a fresh start. The New Year often symbolises new beginnings, and for some, that means parting ways with their partner.
Waiting for the “right time” to not disrupt family
Christmas is usually a magical time with children running around, presents, and delicious festive fare. It’s not surprising that if one partner wanted to leave the relationship, might hold off for the “right time” so that they don’t spoil (in their eyes) the holiday fun.
So once the decorations come down, they might feel the need to take down the pretence of being happy in their relationship.
Cassandra notes, “Many don’t want to spend money on a divorce in December. Family courts and law firms also close for the holidays, making January more practical for filings.”
The cost factor
Although there is of course an incredible emotional cost to the breakdown of a marriage, there’s also a massive financial consideration. So, therefore, some couples may wait until after the Christmas season — when most are spending money on presents and going out for dinners and drinks — so that they don’t disrupt any holiday spending.
Whatever the real reason behind a divorce, the common thread of a desire for change. The holidays can act as a catalyst, bringing any relationship issues into sharp focus. However, every relationship is different. For many, the New Year is not just about resolutions but also about reclaiming happiness and setting a new course for the future.
Have COVID-19 and other societal changes altered divorce patterns?
The pandemic and economic shifts have also influenced divorce trends. Cassandra explains, “The cost of living is increasing, adding strain to already struggling marriages. Additionally, stigmas around divorce are lessening, allowing people to feel more comfortable leaving unhappy relationships.”
She adds, “During the COVID lockdowns, prolonged proximity, homeschooling challenges, and financial pressures built resentment in many couples, creating spikes in divorce rates.”
Steps couples can take during the holidays to address marital issues
For couples considering divorce, addressing issues before making a final decision can be beneficial. Cassandra offers practical advice:
- Communication: Share feelings openly and empathetically. “Communicating early and with empathy is key,” she advises.
- Professional Help: Use mediators or counsellors to set boundaries and improve communication.
- Mediation: Lay all concerns on the table to reach agreements about property and children.
- Empathy: Approach the situation with understanding to support each other through this difficult time.
Whatever the reasons behind a divorce, the common thread is a desire for change. The holidays can act as a catalyst, bringing relationship issues into sharp focus. For many, the New Year is about reclaiming happiness and setting a new course for the future.
“Early intervention and support can make a significant difference,” shares Cassandra. “While January often feels like a fresh start, couples should consider their options carefully and seek guidance to navigate their next steps.”
