When Zoe and Benji Marshall first met, it was a time of deep trauma for both of them. Zoe had recently left a relationship mired in domestic abuse; Benji was grieving the loss of his father, Mick Doherty. But their first Christmas together, held in Benji’s family home at Whakatane, New Zealand, in 2009, helped shape the relationship that the parents of Fox, six, and Ever, three, would build.
“There was grief in the air, but there was also this real togetherness,” Zoe recalls of that time. “It was just so beautiful to be bonded early on and thrown into this very large family unit. It was just me and Mum [Jan, who lost her battle with cancer in 2006] growing up. The whānau, which is the Māori word for family, is really big. It felt really special.
“Throughout the later stages of my life, even when things got really tough, Christmas feels like everything is full of hope, because it’s all around family and togetherness and connectedness. It’s so wholesome and feel-good. And even if you’re in a weird place in your life, there’s something about it that kind of washes over you. It’s just my happiest time. I’ll celebrate from mid-November.”
“Christmas feels like everything is full of hope, because it’s all around family.”
Zoe Marshall
“I wasn’t a big Christmas person,” Benji admits now. “But then I met Zoe, and she was so enthralled with it, just seeing how special it made her feel actually changed my mind. She started my love for Christmas again. And then obviously, with the kids, it’s become even bigger.”
That love of the holiday is obvious in the Marshall home. Not just one, but two towering Christmas trees are in place. Benji is in charge of finding the best trees every year, while the whole family helps to hang the extensive array of special ornaments Zoe has been collecting each year, and arrange the thoughtful gifts for their friends and extended family.
The morning itself always begins with Frank Sinatra’s Jingle Bells at full blast. “It’s my favourite-est song ever,” Zoe grins. After ransacking their Santa sacks, the quartet heads down to Sydney’s Balmoral Beach. “It’s where I scattered my mum’s ashes, so we’ll go and visit and then we’ll get on with our day.”
The parents conquer and divide duties. “Benji is the entertainer. He’s on hosting, he’s the one that’s on drinks and making sure everyone is comfortable,” says Zoe, adding that she’s the one who loves to bring the feast together.
“I have a famous ham dish, which actually came from the Women’s Weekly, but I pretend it’s mine. And I have a potato salad recipe which Jules Sebastian gave me – her pea and pancetta salad.”
In June this year, Zoe launched her manifesting personal growth and transformation business, Ariise (ariise.com.au). At the same time, she reveals, she also had a breast cancer scare.
“I launched the business the day I had the lump cut out of my breast, which was also on my 40th birthday,” she explains – sharing that she was fortunate to receive a clean bill of health in the aftermath, for which she has true gratitude.
“It makes you mindful that there are a lot of people who do have to go through that right now, and are struggling with it,” adds Benji. “We are really lucky.”
“I have true gratitude for that. Being scared that everything could be taken away from you makes you reprioritise,” adds Zoe. “The things I want for Christmas are experiences and connectedness.” AWW
