For many of us, the day begins before it technically starts. There’s a mental checklist already running – appointments, unanswered emails, dogs that need walking and traffic to contend with.
Even before your feet hit the floor, your nervous system is switched on, scanning ahead. By mid-morning, you have already ticked off several tasks without fully registering a single moment of the day itself. Sound familiar?
This constant forward momentum has become so normal that slowing down can feel uncomfortable, even indulgent. And yet, according to experts, it’s within these pauses – these fleeting, often overlooked moments – that our brain finds relief.
These moments are known as glimmers. They are not grand gestures or life-changing events, but brief experiences that bring a sense of calm, pleasure or safety to the body. Think about that first sip of hot coffee in the morning or the familiar weight of a pet settling beside you.
“The idea of a glimmer is often described as a small, fleeting moment that brings calm or joy,” explains psychotherapist and author, Dr Marny Lishman.
“It’s a moment where we are aware of something pleasurable in our environment, where we feel positive emotions and feel safe and calm.”
In an age where wellbeing is often framed as something to optimise or fix, glimmers offer a gentler, more humane approach: one that works with the body, not against it.
Our brains cling to the negative
From an evolutionary perspective, the human brain isn’t wired for happiness – it’s wired for survival. This means it is far more attuned to potential threats than moments of ease.
“We have a negativity bias as a result of that,” Dr Lishman explains. “This was great for our ancestors because it made them keep alert to threats in their environment. But us doing this constantly in modern day can render us stressed, anxious and fearful far too much.”
Emails, news alerts, social pressures and never-ending responsibilities keep the nervous system in a heightened state, often without us realising it. Over time, this can lead to chronic stress, burnout and anxiety.
“When we are aware of threats in our environment, it elicits more negative emotions like fear and anger,” she says. “Consciously looking for and enjoying glimmers helps keep us positive and feel less stressed.”
Crucially, glimmers are not about denying difficulty. They exist alongside the hard stuff, offering brief moments where the body can exhale. What makes glimmers so effective is not their emotional meaning, but their physiological impact. When we experience a glimmer, the body shifts out of threat mode.
“When we have positive emotions and feel safe, our parasympathetic nervous system is at work,” says Dr Lishman. “Our brain and body are in a calm state and operating at a ‘business as usual’ level, which feels soothing.”
This state allows the body to return to balance, known as homeostasis, after periods of stress. Without these moments, the nervous system remains stuck in a constant ‘on’ position.
“When we’re under pressure and stress, our sympathetic nervous system is at work. Our heart is beating quickly, and adrenaline is pumping,” she explains. “Whereas when we slow down, the parasympathetic nervous system turns on and allows our brain and body to return to an optimum state.”
In simple terms, glimmers are the nervous system’s reminder that it is safe to rest, even briefly.
Why women feel it more deeply
While stress affects everyone, women often carry a disproportionate load – not just in tasks, but in emotional labour. Caring roles and the invisible work of keeping households and families running tend to fall more heavily on women, particularly in midlife.
“It’s easy to get caught up in the doing, and women have a lot on their plates,” says Dr Lishman. “Much of it is endless. This keeps us in a reactive state where we are just responding to the demands on us, which will keep on coming.”
Living in this reactive mode leaves little space for reflection or regulation. Glimmers, by contrast, bring the body back into the present moment.
“Being proactive and deliberately noticing glimmers helps bring us back to a more balanced state,” she says.
Importantly, this isn’t about adding another task to the list. It’s about noticing what’s already there.
Spotting the small stuff
This idea sits at the heart of Glimmers, the book by wellness experts and sisters, Nadia Narain and Katia Narain Phillips. Rather than viewing the nervous system as something to override in the name of productivity, they frame it as something to listen to.
“Our system is working to protect us,” Katia explains. “However, some of those systems may be outdated, and we wanted to help ourselves, and others notice and respond with an updated response.”
While the concept may sound soft, its impact is tangible. “Glimmers sound ‘cute’, but they biologically affect us,” Nadia says. “When did it not benefit everyone around you when you were regulated and responsive rather than dysregulated and reactive?”
For women who have lived with chronic stress, trauma or burnout, the nervous system can become locked into a state of alertness. In these cases, slowing down can feel unfamiliar, even unsafe.
“The nervous system is designed to protect us,” says Katia. “But with chronic stress and trauma, we can get stuck in that mode. Glimmers are tiny cues that remind our bodies what safety feels like.”
Over time, these cues help retrain the nervous system. “The more you notice them, the stronger that safety pathway feels,” she explains.
“We don’t want to add more to women’s lists,” Nadia says. “But when you notice how you’re feeling, responding or reacting, you will feel better navigating any situation.”
Noticing what’s already there
For women who feel too tired or overwhelmed to slow down, Dr Lishman suggests starting with just one moment.
“Commit to noticing one glimmer a day,” she says. “Habit stack. In activities at home or work, mindfully slow down and notice some of the pleasurable things in your existing surroundings.”
That might be birds in the garden, a favourite song playing on the radio, or a nice interaction you had with a stranger.
“Reflect at the end of the day,” she adds. “Even writing down any glimmers you noticed helps reinforce them.”
Over time, these moments accumulate. Not because they erase stress – but because they remind the body that rest, safety and pleasure are still available, even on the busiest days.
8 everyday moments that bring calm
- Warm sun on your shoulders during a morning walk
- Your pet curling up next to you on the lounge
- That first bite of a ripe piece of fruit
- Running into someone you have been meaning to call
- The hum of cicadas as evening settles
- Smelling the salty breeze when you’re near the coast
- The clink of ice in a glass on a hot afternoon
- That deep exhale when you finally sit down at the end of the day
The article originally appeared in the March 2026 issue of The Australian Women’s Weekly. Subscribe so you never miss an issue.
