He’s conquered the stage, produced hit records and is a fan favourite on morning TV. But for David Campbell, this literary project pays tribute to his biggest triumph: his family.
They say to write what you know. And as a father of three, David Campbell is all too aware of the pain that is the witching hour.
From tears over denied screen time to fervent pleas for late-afternoon sugary snacks to tantrums thrown when dinner isn’t to their liking. It’s a minefield. Every parent traverses it, as children ride the emotional waves of that perilous early evening period.
“It’s horrible,” he says with a laugh as Leo, the eldest, and twins Billy and Betty, blow bubbles at one another.
“There’s the Kubler-Ross model of the five stages of grief – which is denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. That’s what toddlers and kids go through at dinner time, and this is something we’re constantly going through.”
“Kids now are getting their own autonomy and requesting things, but also, we’re not a hotel. You’re going to get what you get, and you’re not going to get upset about it.”
So when Scholastic knocked on his door, asking if he’d pen a children’s book, his family became his inspiration. And thus Stupid Carrots was born.
Dedicated to the brood he shares with his wife, producer Lisa, the book is the tale of young rabbit Betty (and yes, she’s definitely modelled on their daughter) who cycles through those stages when carrots are served again at dinner time.
“There was a period of time when Betty – and we don’t know why – would mumble to people if she didn’t like them, ‘Stupid carrots, ’” David, 47, explains of the title’s genesis.
“She would have been three and a half, and it was quite abusive – cute abuse, but like a swear word. The tone was definitely there. Going into the meeting, I was reminded of that by Lisa, and so the term kept jumping out at me.”
The natural-born performer of the family (“If the force is strong in one, it’s her,” admits David), Betty heartily approves of her starring role in Dad’s latest project.
Her eyes light up as she talks about “my book,” asking when they’ll be sitting down to read it. As David obliges, all three shriek with delight watching their illustrated selves brought to life.
“Billy’s first response was, ‘What’s my book about?’” David says of the questions that came after his first reading.
“I said, ‘Your book is about going to bed.’ And then Leo asked, ‘What’s my book about?’ and I said, ‘Well, your book is later next year, and we’ll talk about it. Let’s see if this one goes well first, and then we can have two or three.’”
“‘That’s how business works – If Iron Man 1 doesn’t work, then The Avengers doesn’t happen, so let’s all settle down!’ But really, they’re thrilled. They’re all in the book and point out, ‘That’s me there,’ so it’s great.
“Writing a book is something that I’d never dreamt I’d have done, and yet I loved it. And to make the kids the centre was really fun for me, to give them something of a legacy… And I’m sure in 30 or 40 years that will be the therapy I’m paying for!”
While this is a lighthearted dig at his own expense, therapy is a topic that comes up often.
An outspoken advocate for men needing to start a conversation, David has never flinched away from talking about his own experiences with anxiety, self-doubt and binge drinking. His therapy has been ongoing since he met Lisa in 2006, and he’s been sober since shortly after Leo’s birth.
It’s been especially pressing for him in recent times, too. Not only has COVID-19 impacted many of his friends in the industry who have lost jobs, but in 2019, he also lost his best friend, chef Justin Bull, to suicide.
“For men to talk and for other men to listen is invaluable, and I can’t stress that enough,” he says of the motivation for sharing his story.
“I’m very open about going to therapy and my own mental health, as I’m still realising how that has controlled aspects of my life. It would ruin relationships – business relationships, personal relationships.”
“It would keep me distant from family, and it would make me have such self-doubt and low self-esteem. Then I would counteract that by being really egotistical and arrogant at times.”
His struggles, he tells us, began in childhood and have had a huge impact on how he parents today.
“I want [the kids] to have more of a sense of themselves than I had,” he explains. “I was brought up by my grandmother, who was very strict. But at the same time, even though she was strict, I was very insecure. Probably due to stuff that had happened to me as a child.”
“I had great manners, but emotionally I wasn’t quite geared up for what was coming my way. So for us, it’s about making sure they are as emotionally whole and intelligent as they can be. While still mindful of how they behave with other people. And what it means to have good manners. We are old school disciplinarians.”
David exudes confidence, both in person and each day on screen on Nine’s Today Extra. It’s hard to reconcile this image with someone affected by self-esteem issues.
But then again, with his history, perhaps it’s not that surprising. David’s story has been oft-told but still sounds like something from a movie.
The son of Jimmy Barnes – at the time an unknown musician, now Australian rock royalty – he grew up in the care of his maternal grandmother, believing his teenage mother Kim was his sister and Jimmy was just a “family friend”.
At 10, he learnt the truth. And while he admits he wasn’t emotionally equipped for the upheaval, it was definitely a blessing as, he says now with a beaming smile, “I inherited this amazing family”.
By then, Jimmy was married to his wife Jane Mahoney, the pair parents to Mahalia Barnes, nine years David’s junior. Later siblings EJ, Jackie and Elly-May would arrive. And formerly only child David was now a permanent part of their family holidays and adventures.
“Mahalia and I are probably closest because we have had the most time together,” he says, with Lisa adding that she speaks to “the sister I never had” every day.
“Being the child outside at first, and coming into the family, it’s been a wild journey, but it’s beautiful. We are all really close, and it just shows that family is family.”
(In 2010, Jimmy would learn he’d fathered two more daughters, now in their 40s, Amanda Bennett and Megan Torzyn, who have also been welcomed into the fold.)
Before COVID-19, the Barnes family get-togethers were frequent and fun-filled. “Dad’s always been the favourite of my kids,” David says with a smile. “Even back to when I was a child, whenever there’s a children’s party, that’s him in his natural element – performing for the kids. Going down to my dad and Jane’s is always a highlight for [my family]. They’re in the kitchen with Jane, they’re playing songs and dancing and performing.”
Equally, the kids have formed close relationships with Mahalia’s two daughters, their cousins Ruby, 10, and Rosetta, four.
“Ruby and Leo want to start their own cooking channel on YouTube,” he says of the next potential creative family adventure. “They FaceTime and plan what they’ll do when they see each other. It’s lovely to see
their dynamic.”
Also lovely to see is the dynamic between Lisa and David. Clearly head over heels in love, they are also naturally in sync. One will pick up a story where the other left off. Both effortlessly – and wordlessly – tag-team to control the chaos that only a three-child household brings. They laugh together loudly and often while sharing fond glances as their confident offspring pose for our cameras.
It’s hard to believe David, who proclaims parenting to be “the greatest thing I’ve ever done”, once believed he would never start a family. “I never thought about it until I met Lisa,” he says earnestly. “I remember quite early on I said, ‘I can imagine how great it would be for our kids to look up and see your face.’ That was something I felt really powerfully about.”
The pair’s worlds collided when Lisa, born in England and then an actress, was in Melbourne, touring with the UK’s National Theatre in a production of An Inspector Calls.
David, meanwhile, was working across town at the Melbourne Theatre Company (MTC) in the musical The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee. And, his co-star Magda Szubanski sealed their fate.
Two of Lisa’s colleagues were huge Kath & Kim fans, so they had gone to see the show, then made their way backstage to meet their idol.
A few days later, they invited Lisa to join them for drinks at the MTC.
And once Magda saw her chatting animatedly to David, “she decided that this had to happen,” laughs Lisa.
“She started making sure we were sitting next to each other at dinner and started pushing us together. So we had a little fling, and it was wonderful. But then it was the end of my tour, and I had to go back to the UK.
I had a stopover in Singapore, and I emailed Magda and said, ‘Look, this was wonderful, but I don’t think anything is ever going to come of it.’
And she said – I’m not sure if this is printable in The Weekly, but she said, ‘I will not accept this love off a crumb’s table bullshit from you. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. What you guys have is so special.’ And she was right.”
Six weeks after returning to the UK, Lisa was back on a plane, bound for Australia to join David once more. Two years later, the pair wed and have never looked back.
“I absolutely knew,” she says of her conviction in their shared destiny. “Because it’s so rare to find someone who is that fun, that kind, that clever, that generous and, again, funny because those are the things … That’s who you want to grow old with.”
Magda stood up proudly as a bridesmaid when the pair wed. And when the twins arrived in 2015, she delightedly accepted the role of Betty’s godmother.
“Betty and Magda have a really sweet relationship,” Lisa says, adding that, just like her godmother, Betty has the gift of the comedic gab.
“A couple of weeks ago, my phone rang on FaceTime, and Magda went, ‘Can I speak to Betty, please?’ And Betty disappeared with my phone, and they were just chatting away.”
“I spoke to Magda last week because Betty had a very, um, challenging week with the whole ‘How far can I push things?’” adds David. “I said, ‘How do I parent somebody who is an incredible improv comic at the age of five, but just doesn’t know when the lights go off, and the audience leaves, and you stop for a bit?’ She just keeps pushing the comedy out.
“And Magda said, ‘You’ve just got to listen to her and laugh and try to get her through it. But what are you going to do? That’s just who she is.’ She didn’t have any answers for me!” Of course, Betty is not the only child in the family with a creative streak.
“It’s different in each of them,” explains David. “Leo has Lisa’s producer brain, and he’s really artistic.
He’s very adept at piano, so he has musical skills, but he also likes to direct his brother and sister. Betty’s the performer; it’s going to be hard to keep her off the stage. Whereas Billy, I don’t know what he’s doing yet – he’s still searching and trying to find himself in that dynamic – but he’s physically adept at everything. Like, picks up a ball, picks up a bike, rides a skateboard. It will be interesting to see how all their dynamics play out.”
For now, Lisa and David are continuing to encourage their brood to follow their passions. Betty and Billy take dance lessons – Leo’s now considering joining them – and all three are learning karate. The twins
also have musical theatre lessons, while Leo is “a maths head” who is currently obsessed with how to solve the Rubik’s Cube.
“We just want to encourage their creativity,” David says with a smile, watching as the trio frolic happily on the lawn. “We are at that golden age where for the first time they put on a little show for us – their first show. So, we were like, ‘Oh, this is everything you would dream of as a parent!’”
And should the youngsters choose to follow in their parents’ footsteps and go into show business?
“I am not pushing my kids out into the industry, and I certainly don’t want them to be child stars,” David says after a pause for thought. “But I feel like, if they were to go out into public life, we’d be good parents for that because we could keep them grounded and give them a realistic idea of what the industry can provide if you work hard enough.
“And if it doesn’t work, we can give them the tough love to say, ‘Oh well, that didn’t happen for you.’ I feel like we’d know how to manage that.”
This article originally appeared in the November 2020 issue of The Australian Women’s Weekly. Subscribe so you never miss an issue.
Stupid Carrots by David Campbell, illustrated by Daron Parton, is published by Scholastic Australia. Available to purchase here.
