At a glance…
- CONTENT WARNING: We speak about some confronting topics in this article, including suicide. Help is available.
- Wounded Heroes Australia is a 24/7 crisis support service for veterans, their families and serving Australian Defence Force members.
- Mark Herewini spent 13 years in the Army before returning home to become a paramedic. His wife, Cherelle, stayed by his side as they managed long-distance and constant change.
- Mark and Cherelle joined us on Acts of Service, a series from The Australian Women’s Weekly Love Stories podcast, where they opened up about what life really looks like after service.
When Mark Herewini returned home to his family after spending 13 years in the Army, he and his wife, Cherelle, knew life would look different. But they weren’t prepared for how their world would be shaken up. The couple joined us on Acts of Service, a new series from The Australian Women’s Weekly Love Stories podcast, to share their story.
“I’m never marrying a soldier!” swore a young Cherelle who wished to rebel against her Army father’s wishes. Little did she know, she would end up with Mark, who was part of the Australian Defence Force (ADF). The pair wed just four weeks after discussing marriage on a 3 AM ride home from a night out in the city together.
“It was the best thing I ever did,” Cherelle reflects.
For Mark, joining the army always felt like an instinct. He had a strong desire to contribute to society, and hoped that this career path would lead to a sense of security and stability. Cherelle was already familiar with the struggles of physical distance that come along with having a loved one in the ADF, as her father had served for most of her childhood.
“I had that sense of understanding, so it came naturally to support Mark,” she shares. But how prepared could she truly be?
Listen to the episode:
The couple recalls the pain they felt being apart during key milestones of their relationship.
“You don’t want to be away from those that you love at all”.
Mark was stationed in East Timor when Cherelle gave birth to their first child, daughter Tamyka, in 1999. Throughout the pregnancy, their contact was restricted to just a single fortnightly phone call. At times, building a family routine felt impossible, but Cherelle never doubted Mark’s love for her and the family.
“He would wait four hours in a line just to be able to call home for 10 minutes, and he would write to us twice a day,” Cherelle shares.
After 13 years, Mark reached a crossroads in his life where he had to decide where his priorities lay – would he continue to advance within the army, or would he return home to be more present for his children? To Cherelle’s delight, he decided on the latter. After the initial excitement had worn off, the first few years proved to be a difficult adjustment period.
“When I separated from defence, I lost a significant sense of purpose and identity,” Mark confesses.
Mark believes the common thread for veterans overcoming this struggle is to find new ways to contribute to the community at large. This prevents them from regaining their sense of purpose. Fortunately, this is exactly what Mark discovered within himself when he decided his next move was to become a paramedic.
“I have to be contributing to society in some way, shape or form, otherwise it doesn’t feel right,” he admits.
Mark and Cherelle also highlight the importance for veterans, partners and their families to find support networks that offer a safe space for shared experiences.
“Normalise having conversations and talking to people about it. Being as open and honest as you can helps to minimise the size of the problem, as you’re sharing the load with other people.”
That’s why Mark works with communities and organisations like Wounded Heroes Australia, the only 24/7, 365-days-a-year crisis support and emergency intervention service for veterans and their families. Because even when the uniform comes off, that doesn’t mean the service to others stops.
“I hope that people know that they’re not alone,” he says.
Watch the episode:
Acts of Service is brought to you by Wounded Heroes Australia.
Listen to the Acts of Service podcast from The Australian Women’s Weekly Love Stories wherever you get your podcasts. More information here.
Wounded Heroes is a national, grassroots charity that provides 24/7 crisis support for current serving Australian Defence Force members, veterans and their families that experience financial crisis, homelessness or are at risk, or family and domestic violence (FDV). If they need urgent financial support for things such as food, fuel and / or emergency accommodation – we are only a phone call away: 1300 532 112
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