In case you missed it, Prime Minister Anthony Albanese is under fire in recent days after calling former Australian of the Year, Grace Tame, “difficult” in an interview during a word association game. His comment has sparked backlash and a lot of discourse, but for many women, his comment landed in a familiar thud.
For generations, women who speak plainly, hold their ground or refuse to soften themselves for comfort have been branded with the same label. Difficult. Not strong, not principled, and certainly not uncompromising. Just… difficult. If Grace Tame were a man, might we call him decisive? For me personally, I have been labelled difficult many times. Once by my then manager, who didn’t appreciate me pointing out that the idea he pitched was actually put forward by another person on the team. He either wasn’t listening or was hoping we would forget. For that gross crime, I had “no tact” and was “difficult”.
There is a particular social choreography women are taught early: smile, nod, cushion the truth, apologise before disagreeing. When we deviate from that script, when we refuse to comply, we unsettle people. And unsettling women are often reclassified as difficult.
The women who fought for and secured the vote were “difficult”. Women who expose abuse are seen as difficult. The women who insisted on equal pay were difficult. They were not compliant, and that was precisely the point. Grace Tame is many things. But we know her as a courageous human being who has spoken up for not just herself, but for many others.
Following the prime minister’s comment, Grace reshared a post from sex abuse survivor and advocate Harrison James. That Instagram story read: “Difficult is the misogynist’s code for a woman who won’t comply. History tends to call her ‘courageous.’”
In a statement to The Daily Aus, Grace wrote that “In the space of two weeks, I’ve been called ‘unworthy’ by a former Prime Minister and continuing supporter of rapist George Pell; ‘absolutely outrageous’ by Israeli Defence Minister; and ‘difficult’ by our current Prime Minister. If I’m simultaneously under the skin of a paedophile defender [Pell was found guilty of five sexual offences in 2018. The High Court acquitted him on appeal in 2020], a representative of a state accused of genocide; and a national leader aligned with said state, I must be doing something right.”
Mahalia Barnes was among those who reached out in support of Grace Tame following the comment. Taking to Instagram to write, “‘Difficult’ women make the world a better place. Grace Tame, I’m grateful for all you represent and all you do…not only do you change the world, you inspire so many to stand up and speak out.”
“Labelling women as difficult won’t silence us,” said Greens Leader Larissa Walters. “It won’t stop us speaking truth to power. Next time, try ‘unbreakable’ or ‘warrior’ or ‘fierce’, Prime Minister.”
“When I heard that he had said that, I cringed inside,” said Liberal frontbencher and Shadow Minister for Social Services Melissa McIntosh to Patricia Karvelas. “Women get told we are difficult a lot…it was a poor choice of words.”
The prime minister has since come out to apologise for “any misinterpretation.”
“I was asked to describe people in one word. And Grace Tame, you certainly can’t describe in one word,” Anthony Albanese said. “She has had a difficult life, and that was what I was referring to. And what Grace Tame has done is turn that difficult experience that she had into being a strong advocate for others. If there was any misinterpretation, then I certainly apologise.”
